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child abuse
2018-01-09   1:49 a.m.

I have some pretty serious and hateful feelings. It's better to be able to label ones negative feelings in order to cope with them. Here's some genuine hate:

The woman who abused me for 5 years is dead. Before diaryland, I had an actual pen-and-paper diary. Within, I'd wish her death on a daily basis. I don't know her cause of death, but it may have been self-inflicted.

I hate suicide, except for hers if that's how she really died. If that's what actually happened, I'm glad she served herself a piece of justice. If someone else caused her to be as fucked up as she was, I hope they lived a life even more torturous.

Fuck you, Mary Jane, you child abusing piece of shit. I regret that I was never able to show you in person my college diploma, the fulfillment I get from playing music, my awesome wife, or my sweet and intelligent daughter. You tried to wreck me, but you failed. You lose. Haha! Fuck you in your sadistic, ruined asshole. Even 18 years later, I still have nightmares about you. Did you know I've looked you up and called you, just to see if your voice sounded sad when you said "hello"?

You've reaped what you've sewn on this earth. I wish the same fate for every abuser.

You're a fucking whore.

15-year-old me

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