Every morning you are there, waiting to be picked up again after a night gone ignored by sleep. I pick you up, remembering what I had prayed for last night. You say that God will respond later. That's a lie. God wants to respond right now. You're in my way. I hate you! You stink and you spend all of my money. Uh oh, here it comes----God, my friends, my youth group, my pastor, my mom, my dad, my sisters, my wife, my children, and everything. You long to fill every alveolus and pollute my fragile health. Well, it's time to fail again, to be selfish, to kill myself a little bit more *inhales deeply*. Ahhh...I'm so frikkin' satisfied I think I'll get you over with for now. What does God think of me right now? What would Cammy or Paul say to me if they saw me right now? How am I going to blow air through my trumpet later on in life? Dammit! I stink! I have to go get a drink and change my shirt. "haughkhkt" *spits in sink*. I really need to stop doing this. I think I'll have just one more later...I think I'll have just one more....ok, this is my last one....failed again...no stopping me...I'm really going to quit after this one...just one more...I've had enough.

These are just a few of my thoughts whenever I smoke a cigarette.

Today I gave away my cigarettes (I should have flushed 'em instead). I had thought about what you told me and how I replied. I took your words home and thought about them. It was an easy decision to make. Here is my new commitment to life.

Thank you Cammy and Paul.